Narrative ONE : Grandma Gets Ready for a Party
Narrative TWO: My Redneck Rap
My darn name is Mary Lou, And I come from a place where everyone has a tattoo
No one really believes in using shampoo, And my ma makes the very best potatoe stew
Wilma is my very fat and rude cat, She usually lies around on our welcome mat
I like to feed her the dry cat food, And it’s then that she gets into a better mood
Sometimes my uncle Buck Scmutz, Likes to hit the cat with the mini cocnuts
Makes poor ol’ Wilma cry, But Uncle Buck just thinks he’s a funny guy
Oooee if his mama saw him now, She just gonna whup that old cow
Today we went a pickin’, Ma hands were tired and stickin’
Lot’s of berries were picked away, For we madeberry syrup today
We’s havin’ kumpny tonight, Just gonna end in a big fight
Brother Bill is bringing his new girl, It’s his sixth, ma’s just gonna hurl
The fifth girl she sprayed with some hairspray, Because we hid the pepper spray away
Them pepper spray she used for the third, I don’t think them girl’s eyes ever cured
But maybe ma will finally like his escort, And end up buying us some mini ritter sports
And maybe even get us some extra salty crisps, though they tend to hurt me lips
I would be muchablige for all 'em good food, I’d be in such a better mood
Because tommorow will be a bad day, my job picking garbage without any pay
I grab the garabage bags, and the day is filled picking wrappers and rags
On my break my paw gives me my 2 % milk to drink, he says it’s filled with vitamins and zinc
My paw is sometimes such a fool, that’s because he ain’t never gone to school
He’s slower then molasses on a cold day, but he’s ma paw and I always obey
After work I like to take me a rest, thank the good lord for my family and the west
I light up some of my ciggies, which I mugged from Aunt Mary Louise
And I say death to chickens.
No one really believes in using shampoo, And my ma makes the very best potatoe stew
Wilma is my very fat and rude cat, She usually lies around on our welcome mat
I like to feed her the dry cat food, And it’s then that she gets into a better mood
Sometimes my uncle Buck Scmutz, Likes to hit the cat with the mini cocnuts
Makes poor ol’ Wilma cry, But Uncle Buck just thinks he’s a funny guy
Oooee if his mama saw him now, She just gonna whup that old cow
Today we went a pickin’, Ma hands were tired and stickin’
Lot’s of berries were picked away, For we madeberry syrup today
We’s havin’ kumpny tonight, Just gonna end in a big fight
Brother Bill is bringing his new girl, It’s his sixth, ma’s just gonna hurl
The fifth girl she sprayed with some hairspray, Because we hid the pepper spray away
Them pepper spray she used for the third, I don’t think them girl’s eyes ever cured
But maybe ma will finally like his escort, And end up buying us some mini ritter sports
And maybe even get us some extra salty crisps, though they tend to hurt me lips
I would be muchablige for all 'em good food, I’d be in such a better mood
Because tommorow will be a bad day, my job picking garbage without any pay
I grab the garabage bags, and the day is filled picking wrappers and rags
On my break my paw gives me my 2 % milk to drink, he says it’s filled with vitamins and zinc
My paw is sometimes such a fool, that’s because he ain’t never gone to school
He’s slower then molasses on a cold day, but he’s ma paw and I always obey
After work I like to take me a rest, thank the good lord for my family and the west
I light up some of my ciggies, which I mugged from Aunt Mary Louise
And I say death to chickens.
PHOTO CREDIT : www.flickr.com/creativecommons
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